


Everything Overheard

by flootzavut



Series: Swamp(y) Sex [1]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, Rage eats a chicken, Swamp(y) Sex, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-18 00:00:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13670049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: BJ wakes in pitch darkness and doesn't know why.





	Everything Overheard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [onekisstotakewithme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekisstotakewithme/gifts).



> This wasn't meant to be so angsty, but I reckoned without Beej. Those poor chickens...

* * *

_**Everything Overheard** _

* * *

 

BJ wakes in pitch darkness and doesn't know why. It's actually pretty quiet; a lull in hostilities means fewer casualties, fewer bombardments, and a little more peace all around.

For a couple of minutes he thinks maybe that's exactly what woke him. It's appalling that anyone can get used to conditions like these to the point where it's silence that disturbs them, but 'incoming wounded' has become an all too familiar refrain.

He lies there and listens to the quiet, savouring it, committing it to memory so he can at least recall this moment the next time he's up to his ears in bleeding soldier (or worse, bleeding non-combatant).

It's relaxing, and he's slipping back towards sleep when he hears a sound that snaps him into instant awareness. It's a groan, and it's coming from Hawkeye's corner of the Swamp.

BJ tenses.  _That's what woke me_. Hawkeye doesn't like to admit it, but he still has nightmares on a regular basis, and Beej is well attuned to the kind of noises that say 'It's a bad one tonight.' They both are.

The children haunt them the most - kids who should be playing with their friends, not stepping on land mines or catching shrapnel. It's not unusual for one of them to spend an hour comforting and shushing the other into a more peaceful sleep.

They don't talk about it. It's one of those things that belongs in the dark, a defining part of their friendship but one that goes unspoken. BJ's not sure when it started or even why it's something they don't discuss; the habit is so ingrained now, he's not sure he'd know where to start. Asking Hawk in the mess tent if he slept well the previous night would just be... wrong.

BJ's too tired to leap up immediately; they're catching up on sleep, but they have a hell of a lot to catch up on. So instead he listens, quiet and attentive, to see if he needs to go and look after Hawkeye.

The next noise is more like a sigh, a happy one at that, and BJ grins. A good dream, then. Those are rare enough he wouldn't even have woken Frank Burns in the middle of one. (Well. Probably not.) He relaxes into his bunk, rolling onto his side towards Hawk as if pleasant dreams are catching. Hell, it's got to be worth a try.

It works fine for a few minutes. He lets his mind wander, to Peg, to Erin, to the plans he has for after the war, though he can't seem to completely pull his thoughts away from the friend in the next cot. He remembers the last ridiculous story Hawkeye told in the OR, some prank from before BJ's time that he still doesn't quite believe

When Hawkeye actually moans, BJ peels open his eyes and frowns into the night. It didn't sound like a nightmare noise, but he's tired and half asleep, so it takes him a moment to get it. Then his cheeks are flaming as he realises the soundtrack for this evening is Hawkeye touching himself.

 _Oh, God_. It's not like it's a surprise exactly. They're fairly healthy guys in the prime of their lives, stuck out in the middle of a war zone with only a handful of nurses for company. Sometimes they have to take matters into their own hands. Still, they're discreet, they don't listen or watch, it's not one of the things they share. It's the middle of the night, and Hawkeye is probably trying to relax, to get back to sleep. BJ can't begrudge him. But God, the tent suddenly seems way too small, and it's a little... distracting.

An unhelpful, treacherous thought in his brain goes, 'So  _that's_  what he sounds like,' and BJ has to stifle a groan of his own.

Should he cough? Announce that he's awake? Let Hawkeye know he has an accidental witness?

Then Hawkeye lets out a sound that's so ragged and desperate it makes BJ feel like the worst kind of voyeur. It's want and need, pleasure and pain all wound up together, so tight that it hurts, and this is no longer distracting or embarrassing so much as it's-  _It's not hot_ , BJ tells himself, against all the evidence.  _It's not hot, you will not find this hot, it's absolutely nothing to do with you and you do not find Hawkeye hot_.

He does his best to resist, although it's a losing battle. Lying here listening to his best friend jerk off should not be having this effect on him. Hell, he shouldn't be listening, he should be burying his head under his pillow and blocking it out, should be trying to fall asleep, shouldn't be unwillingly fascinated and aroused, heart pounding, straining for every tiny groan and whimper.

"Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh." Hawkeye sounds like he's close, and BJ can't figure out how he can even hear Hawk's voice over the rush of blood in his own ears. Then Hawkeye lets out a strangled noise, almost a sob, and his cot rattles as he... BJ can't think about this, he absolutely can't think about it, and- "Oh, Beej, oh God,  _Beej_."

BJ stares into the darkness, listening more intently than he has ever listened to anything. Because surely he just misheard.  _Surely_.

Hawkeye laughs to himself, a low, satisfied laugh. "Beej," he murmurs, and it's much quieter than it was when he- but it's clearer, unmistakable, and BJ doesn't understand how his face is this hot without bursting into flames. He tries not to put words around it, but his mind is miles ahead of him. The words are all right there, waiting patiently for his attention -  _Hawkeye thought about me when he came. Hawkeye jerked off thinking about me_  - but much worse are the images. Hawkeye, head thrown back, moaning 'Beej' as his body shakes. Hawkeye, cheeks flushed, imagining BJ's hand in place of his own, or them sharing a cot and rutting up against each other, or BJ's mouth and tongue wrapping around-

BJ wonders desperately if there's any chance he could jerk off now and Hawkeye might not notice, or at least wouldn't make the connection to his own actions. Despite BJ's best efforts, he's so hard it's painful.

The urge to reach down and give himself relief is almost overpowering, but how can he do it thinking of Hawkeye and not his wife? He's only human, he's done this plenty when he's needed to, always thinking of sweet Peggy. Right now, though, he can barely remember what she looks like, because Hawk has somehow taken up residence in BJ's mind's eye in full colour and exquisite detail, and isn't backing down.

 _Damnit, Hawkeye_.

There are still sounds coming from Hawkeye's cot, sighs and soft laughter and the creak of his cot as he gets comfortable. BJ wonders what Hawk is thinking. If he's laughing at himself for getting off with his best friend's name in his mouth, or if his fantasy is in complete earnest.

Is Hawkeye lying over there imagining sharing his afterglow with BJ? Is he picturing them holding one another close and enjoying each other's bodies now the urgency has faded? Falling asleep pressed together from their faces to their feet? And why is BJ asking himself these questions?

BJ can't think of anything else, and every little noise that emerges from Hawkeye's side of the tent is becoming part of the increasingly elaborate picture in his head he absolutely cannot, should not, and will not indulge in, except that  _he can't stop._

Finally,  _finally_ , Hawkeye settles down, his breathing evening out then the reassuring sound of his snoring. BJ can't remember the last time he was so relieved to have someone fall asleep outside of the OR.

He waits for a couple more minutes. Partly to be sure Hawkeye's definitely asleep, and partly in hope he can somehow dampen his need or quash the images in his brain and put Peggy back in her proper place.

Neither his mind nor his body oblige; eventually he gives in and reaches down to wrap a hand around himself, and it's such a relief. In his mind, Hawkeye laughs in his ear and presses up against him, whispers 'Beej, if I'd only known,' in a lascivious, amused murmur as he kisses BJ's neck. The idea has no right to make BJ blush and shudder and squirm, but it does, and right now he can't even feel guilty because it feels so good.

If he were with anyone, he'd be embarrassed how short a time he lasts, how quickly the idea of touching Hawkeye, of being touched by Hawkeye, sends him over the edge. He has just enough presence of mind to bite down hard on his lip against the 'Oh God, Hawk' that wants to escape. Bad enough that he overheard Hawkeye; he does not need Hawk waking up and finding BJ returning the favour.

He wrings out every last shred of pleasure he has in him, rides out his release to the full, then flops back, spent and confused. Now he's got that out of his system, he feels terrible, but the guilt doesn't eclipse the desire. He can't deny it any longer. He's deeply, passionately in love with his wife. She's his lodestone, the one thing that keeps him moving forwards. Peggy and Erin are unquestionably the most important people in his life.

It's just that they're not everything any more.

_~ fin ~_

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to onekisstotakewithme for "So _that's_ what he sounds like" ♥️
> 
> If you're interested in talking to folks in the fandom, please come join us in [The Swamp](https://discord.gg/H5nHFr4), which is a MASH Discord server where quite a few MASH readers, writers and artists hang out :D

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Everything (That Shouldn't Be) Overheard](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13753116) by [onekisstotakewithme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekisstotakewithme/pseuds/onekisstotakewithme)




End file.
